Tomorrow I get to go on vacation from Chemo!
In the next 2 weeks there are family events much like at Christmas time that I do not want to miss and I am off for my adventures. I had my fifth treatment last Tuesday and with this trip I will be postponing my 6th till I return at the end of the month. If all is going well ..then I will be halfway through!
I have found that through this journey that having things to look forward to and participate in (as one can) is such a great way to buoy up ones spirits. One day I was contemplating this concept and I finally grasped the idea .. why does one go visit the sick and afflicted? You can not cure them.. its kind of uncomfortable to see them not well... and sometimes they are in such poor health they can not really respond to you. Being such a healthy person my whole life.. I just did not get it. What difference does it really make?
Well.. now I understand much better. One can be like a water pitcher to a wilting plant. A little sunshine to someone who has a little cloud over them. Others can be a wonderful distraction to those who are struggling with anything in their lives.
I first experienced this for myself a little while after my first treatments. A friend wanted to go out to lunch with me. I was not sure how I would do.. but I decided to attempt it. We went to Olive Garden and enjoyed their soup, salad and bread sticks. As we talked I started feeling this weight come off of me and I felt sooo much better!
My daughter and her 2 boys also served me so many times in this manner. Where just being around them uplifted me and I was able to rise a little above the chemicals and side effects that has slowed me down in so many ways. In the middle of March my daughter and her two boys were able to go back home and be reunited with their husband/Dad who has been serving in Afghanistan since July. Dave traveled with them for a business trip in DC.
That could have left me here by myself but my sister Karen came to be with me. =) Most people have more grand plans when they come to visit Alaska... hers was very simple.. she wanted to see for herself how I was doing and come help me in anyway she could. So for the 10 days she spent her time uplifting and serving me. My house sparkled. What a wonderful time I had during a not so wonderful time.
Others have brought in meals, books, videos.. and best of all their encouragement and smiles. Text messages, phone calls and emails have also been a great source of upliftment. =) And.. Dave played a game with me that he does not like at all. How nice is he? As I said.. I never really understood what a difference these things can make till now.
I seem to be going through an almost predictable cycle each 2 weeks as I have been having my treatments. I get my treatment on day 1... then carry around a pack for another day and a half which drips more chemicals in me. I started feeling a bit queezy.. and sometimes have other side effects also.. When I go get the pack removed and I feel a bit of uplift from not having it to drag around but then its like I am brim full of all those liquids.
For the next few days my mind is hard to focus.. trying to answer questions is very laborious .. and I feel a bit seasick... but then it starts to ebb. As I go into the next week I start having longer periods of time that I feel great and try to accomplish a few worthwhile things. I have learned to appreciate those days.
When I return from my vacation.. I will be getting a virtual CT scan which is a little less intense then a Colonoscopy.. it takes pictures.. so they can see if my treatments are working. When my doctor brought this up.. it was not my usual doctor but a rotating one.. and she said it just that way.. this needs to be done so we can see if the treatments are working or not.... and my first internal reaction was.. .What? This could be all for nothing??
I calmed myself down and thought it through.. yes.. they had always said a percentage of people are not healed or cured .. or go into remission from these kind of treatments. She did not say anything new... I just had not really thought about it all in that way. However, I do not believe that I have anything to worry about. My faith is such that I asked for and was given a Priesthood blessing from my husband and by my father .. both said in these separate blessings that my journey would not be easy but I would have many years of health to enjoy my family in. I believe that those blessings came from a heavenly source that has more insight into my life then I do. If I was not going to be healed I believe my blessings would have said so. So I know that I will be ultimately okay.. and in the meantime.. you all help me be okay from day to day. Thank you for your love, support and prayers!
Cya!! .. I am going on vacation!!!
